centralfiction | ic contact: kaisou

No, I'm busy.

[He is not busy.]

["Busy doing WHAT" he says to himself before ramping the pressure]

Oh really?
That's too bad, it was more for Harumasa than myself...

[you son of a bitch]

Depends on what the favor is.

Nothing too difficult, I promise!

I'm not sure how many details Haru's shared with you, but since that talk he had with us last month, I've been acting as on-call assistance for when he needs it.
But it's Varian and my anniversary this weekend. Our first anniversary, even.

So I was wondering if you'd be willing to fill in for me. Just for those few days.

[You evil little shithead mastermind, Jun Nightroad. Reminding Ragna of just how little sand Harumasa had left in his hourglass and how he'd absolutely need extra help that anyone in his family and beyond it would drop everything to give.

You manipulative bastard, tugging on the heart strings Ragna had for you and Varian and how it's obvious how stupidly happy you make one another even in Ragna's stone cold ~~lol~~ heart and using that as leverage to make him do the favor if it means you get a nice little weekend get-away.

You absolute scoundrel just using power word: Harumasa on him while he has a big stupid crush on the guy in general.

How absolutely dare you, Jun Nightroad!!!]

Goddammit.

Fucking fine. I'll make time. You got lucky, you little punk.

[Ragna was not doing anything this weekend except playing with his cats.]

[He's so easy]

Great, thank you so much Ragna!

I'll send you a copy of the contract so you get an idea of your duties. And then Haru will contact you with any further details, okay?

Oh, and you're welcomed to crash either at my place or in the guest bedroom! Just let me know which so we can get it set up for you.

[Shut!!]

It'll be easier if I take the guest room, then if something happens I'll be right there.

[Don't perceive him actually being considerate again.]

Haha, sounds good. I'll be sure to clean it up then for you! Any specific accommodations I should add to make your stay more comfortable?

[And after a moment of digging up his files]

Found it. Here's the contract:

As of August 2025, I, Jun Nightroad, have agreed to assist my brother, Harumasa Asaba. During the duration of this agreement, I will be willing to perform the following:

- Provide company as needed 5 days a week. Request for company can be evoked at anytime during those days. Overtime can be allotted depending on circumstances EXCEPT on Sunday mornings from 8am until 12pm (commitment to another contract holder). Should you wish, I am also willing to provide company in one of my animal forms (wolf, carbuncle, dove).
- Be contacted at anytime during the agreed upon on-call days. Yes, even when I'm sleeping.
- Prioritize this job above all other commissions. Should I be working on another job but you require assistance, I am willing to abandon that job as soon as it's safe to do so and go to you.
- Assist with medical-related tasks that are within my qualifications to perform.
- Provide an ear to any singing required to fulfill your contract price.
- Assist in any housekeeping chores, provided Lycaon is unavailable.
- Cook any meals that you request, within reason.
- Provide financial assistance, within reason.
- Run any errands in your stead, within reason.
- Help keep any secrets you wish to keep.
- Field any correspondence and relay messages to friends and family should you be unable. This does not apply to any romantic-based communications, I am your brother not your wingman.
- Provide combat assistance as warranted. However, I cannot fight gods- so if you pick fights with any, you're on your own.
- Should be required, aid any end-of-life care and handle funeral arrangements. This is a parameter that can be discussed at a later date.

What I will NOT be willing to do:
- Perform any acts that'd violate or jeopardize previously held contracts with the following person(s): Yahweh, Varian Vasiya, Wriothesley
- Perform any medical acts I am NOT qualified to perform.
- Perform any acts of worship for any God that is not my own.
- Take part in any searches for a cure without your prior consent.
- Take an active role in your D&D campaigns (I deal with Wei Wuxian enough through POKEGO)
- Travel to Eastern Europe.
- Eat any pork-based products (I will throw up on you if violated)
- Pretend to be Pythia.
- Sing (this is for your own survival)

This agreement is valid for 2 years until August 2027. Should you still be around at that date, we will assess the situation and revise the agreement based on the circumstances then.

Edited 2025-09-09 22:40 (UTC)

[who the FUCK is Wei Wuxian and why does even JUN not want to deal with him?

he's also not going to look too hard at that wingman comment or he'll have to ask Baizhu about the heart palpitations next time.]

I dunno what I was expecting but it wasn't this.

I don't need a lot I'm used to roughing it, if I need something that bad I'll bring it myself and it'll be small.

[too small for the ikea bag but he might just bring one anyway.]

Haha, to be fair, this contract IS a bit more informal than my standard long-term Shroud contracts. For one, it didn't feel right to get it notarized by my usual notary, since Haru IS my brother.

[Having him get killed by meteor for violating a contract clause feels extreme]

Alright, fair enough. Well, if you change your mind let me know! Oh, and if you have any snacks or drinks you want me to get, let me know. Otherwise I'll ask my brother for suggestions.

[BECAUSE HE IS GOING TO BE A GOOD HOST TO THE HOUSESITTER]

[why did that feel so ominous.

but also sir you're being accommodating to a man who hopped between hostels couch surfing and camping for half his life he's not used to this.]

Whatever's fine, I'm not picky...

[He's really throwing himself to the wolves... tigers? Tigers.]

Haha... okay! I'll ask Haru then.

[Your fate is sealed]

Thanks Ragna. I really appreciate you doing this.

ic contact: kaisou

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