You know, times like this make Ragna more glad the bitch in his head only yells there and not through his mouth.]
Uh-huh...
[Yeah, he doesn't know how to respond to that and he's not allowed to take more migraine meds for another 12 hours.
But at the very least, he imagined how rough a conversation of laying all his cards out would be rough as hell. But despite that.]
They're grown enough now that keeping it from them any longer than you did would've been worse. Since they know now it's just one less thing you've got to hold back. You can just... Be. With them.
[Greek gods are chatty, but Apollo takes the cake.
Harumasa listens to that and largely he agrees. It's the conclusion he's reached himself. He opens his mouth to say something vulnerable, but then he stops and shuts his mouth. He closes his eyes for a moment.
I'm so tired, Ragna. That's what he wants to say.
But he doesn't. Harumasa says something else.]
They're still good, you know? They got all fired up about finding a way to cure me! I'm gonna need to keep an eye on them to make sure they don't lose sleep over it.
[He laughs a little.]
They can't help me if they're not taking care of themselves, too!
[Ragna won't call out that silence. Not like he had a right to considering what he was hiding. It's a lot of shit to have thrown at you in a couple weeks' time. On top of dealing with catch 22 of Kaisou being both the poison and the temporary remedy for his illness.
And if something can be found to cure it or stabilize it... well, Ragna didn't have a sister to help anymore did he?
But he had a friend.]
Crazier shit's been found in this city than a cure for something.
[Just a statement of fact, sounding fairly neutral even if he did want to hope something would arise. If anything he'd help in that regard. Illness wasn't what cut Ragna's lifespan in half, he didn't have a chance to get that back. But Harumasa could with the right medicine.]
You can take care of them but that's not gonna stop them from taking care of you. That's what family is supposed to do. [If he can't relax with his siblings, where can he relax?]
[Harumasa can't help laughing softly at that, too.]
With all the coincidences that keep happening to me already, I'm starting to believe that more seriously.
[He sighs.]
Yeah, well, vicious cycles and all that! All three of them have stronger wills than I think even they realized. Well, other than Ana.
[He tries to lighten the mood a bit.]
And, as far as I'm concerned, you're also someone I'm going to take care of if you don't take care of yourself! I can't tell if that's a promise or a threat right now, but it's definitely one of those things.
[Ragna knew Ash was in both Krusnik and the Order, but knew less about Jun and Anna. He could put some pieces together, but he's not so much of an asshole he'd pry. He knew they had iron wills. That was enough.
Ragna paused at the idea of him being taken care of. A few things came to mind with that. "I'm the one supposed to be taking care of you idiots" and "Don't stick your head out for me, it's not worth you being put in the hospital".
"Aoko would probably kill you. Just keep away."
He didn't let any of that loose. He really felt like he was relapsing here. There's a way to stop this, but it was way too risky for Harumasa to get involved in.]
Oh please, don't you have other people to harass besides me? [At least he was used to concealing concern about himself (18-1;17).]
That's true. Compared to them, I've fallen behind!
[Harumasa has never believed himself to be all that strong. Not even in his past life. He's okay with being the weak and sickly one, in his own words. But he doesn't see a need to catch up, really. Not yet at any rate. His siblings deserve to fly on their own for a while.]
Sure I could. Lots of friends of mine have turned out to not like sharing the burden of their pain with others out of a desire to protect them. Right now, the person I want to 'harass' is you.
[As a big brother, the younger ones are supposed to spring forward quicker. But god knows he would be bitching about the same thing as Harumasa. If he had siblings left.
"If that time comes, if it comes. It'll be you who kills me."
Tch. He'd like to stop remembering Jin. He'd like to stop that resentment his past life had towards his brother for what he did creeping into his memory of this life's Jin.]
How's that supposed to apply to me anyway? I told you I was fine.
Maybe so... though, even my older sister's gotten way ahead. Haha, guess that means I just get to enjoy taking in the scenery instead.
[He's... okay with that. He's had to be okay with that. Even as a small child, Harumasa has understood that eventually his siblings will fly farther and longer than he ever could. He just knows that he can now enjoy watching them soar without regrets.
If not for the fact this is over voice, Harumasa would give Ragna a look.]
Sure, except for the fact that you've told me to stay away from you because of your roommate. I can worry about you just as much as you worry about me.
[Regardless of how much time Harumasa had left, he at least got to see where his siblings were. Watching them thrive and be alive. Imagine that. Shit, Ragna was as envious as he was glad in a way. But he hasn't gotten into... anything with his family.
If not over voice, Harumasa would be given a deeper scowl.]
[... A year ago, Ragna absolutely would have said "who the fuck said I worried or gave a shit about you?" A year ago he would have just hung up after saying that, told Harumasa to fuck off basically. There's still a small part of him that wants to.
Because it would keep him safer.
He barely wanted Venti or Blade involved, but they were his only shot at potentially combating this before it reached a boiling point. He wondered if Aoko's paranoia was a signal of that, but didn't know for sure because she won't say anything else.
Goddammit. He knew he'd have to come clean about this to one of them. But not right now, not to Harumasa who'd get majorly fucked up by his right arm and his possessor. More so than anyone else.]
I don't know what the hell's going on with her, but she's got access to a ton of fucked up magic that drained souls in my past life. I'm telling you this shit as a warning. [She's powerful, she's scared or pissed off... or both at something, she's barely letting him sleep anymore because every little sound of a cat outside or Pokemon snoring inside makes her scream. If he didn't have a constantly haggard air it'd be clear he's been exhausted.]
[Harumasa can be a stubborn bastard when he wants to be, and right now he definitely wants to be that. Even if he won't say as such himself, Ragna is his friend.
He's patient, though, and he waits for Ragna to speak. Harumasa frowns on hearing that answer. His divine roommate stirs in discomfort. This is starting to veer into Persephone territory, which could put them into a very precarious position. For now, the focus is on his friend.]
Tch. [And Ragna would like it if the guy was a little less fucking stubborn.
It's not like knowing will change anything. By God he will defy an early bullshit demise as long as he breathed air, it wasn't like he could affect the natural order of things. He'll stand unbroken regardless.
The same can't be said for everyone else.
And really, the only reason he's telling Harumasa this is from one short lived man to another. The same acceptance of that inevitability.]
My soul -- my lifeforce. That's the BlazBlue's fuel. Its full power only came back after coming to this town, but it was eating away before that.
[Sometimes, Harumasa hates when he's right. Both of them have shortened lives for one reason or another. He remembers thinking back then that Ragna fights like a man with nothing left to lose, and now....
It may be an inevitability, but he still wants to try the impossible.]
Have you talked to Persephone?
[She's the only one he knows who's an expert on souls.]
[Back then, he did have nothing to lose. All he lived for was to destroy Krusnik. Now... he has a few things to lose. And he'd let the short time he has get even shorter if it meant they could live longer.
That's his choice, not one dictated by fate. Not one dictated by Aoko who he wished could move on. It's his.]
I didn't even know a Persephone was here. Fucking figures... [He's just learned to expect everything at this point. Next thing you know some other Greek asshole... the fucking wine one or whatever's gonna be all buddy buddy with that blonde dragon prick.]
And if this could've been reversed don't you think I would have tried it by now?
You didn't even know the Queen of the Underworld was here, Kiba. Listen, I'm not hoping for a miracle, here. I just want to know what's possible.
[He pauses for a moment. As much as he doesn't like being vulnerable to people, especially after all he's had to confess in such a short amount of time lately, he thinks he should in this moment. If only to show that Harumasa does care about him.]
I want to at least be able to look you in the eye and say I've tried. If I don't find anything, then I don't find anything.
[Because it's not about saving Ragna to him. It's about trying every option available. And if they can't find anything, then... he'll walk with his friend to that inevitable goodbye. At least Ragna won't be alone.]
Seriously? A Wolf's Rain reference in the fucking year of our lord 2025? And how am I supposed to keep up with every idiot in this place anyway, it's huge!
[But Harumasa being serious did have him thinking in silence. Both of them were on similar wavelengths with regard to their lives. Or what's left of them.
"I can't do much about mine, but I can do something about the one in front of me."
Not that anyone should see that view anyway... dammit.
... The last thing he said to Harumasa before they went their separate ways came to Ragna's mind.]
... You're free to do whatever the hell you want. I'll go my own way.
[But it was different this time. Last was a dismissal. This was a commitment. If Harumasa wouldn't mind his business, Ragna would do whatever he could to keep this idiot at least stable.]
I need to be careful about how I move or who I talk to. Or else she'll really freak out.
[It's with perhaps deceptive glee that Harumasa replies to that.]
This one liked Cheza a lot! Although, this one did fall asleep in the middle of the series.
[It is truly astounding how quickly you fall asleep to the dramatic parts. And now I'll never know how that show ended because you fell asleep during the crucial moment!]
[But he'll get serious again. A moment of lightness to try and not get to heavy with this conversation. There's enough darkness in their lives already. Not that Harumasa will deny those. No, he simply wants to have reminders that life isn't always so dark and lonely. That there is good and warmth out there.
Harumasa remembers that phrase and how he's lived it since then. Although Ragna dismissed him back then, this time it's different. They're different, for better with Ragna and perhaps for worse with Harumasa. Still, now they're walking together towards that inevitable yet still uncertain future.]
Then I'll talk to Persephone for you. At least to get the ball rolling. We won't make any moves until things are calmer for you.
Oh, please. [... Should he tell him? Should he tell Harumasa how it ended? Should he crush this man's dreams right now?
... no, let him find out on his own.
Ragna only got "better" after being conscripted into friendship by Blade and Venti. Not that he regrets that. It gave him fear again, though. Fear that he'd lose them and everyone else that latched onto him. Fear about what his power could do. What Aoko and the BlazBlue would do to them.
There's a light he's seeing, though, that he never had in the over ten years he spent wandering and destroying.
He's not expecting anything. The result will be the same either way. Fight until the very end. Until the very end.]
If you get in the middle of the family drama, don't come crying to me. [He's referring to Apollo, but also resigned to the fact that Harumasa would do this crap anyway.]
[Harumasa will never find out and Apollo is going to suffer for it.
He laughs at Ragna's comment on family drama. He knows what he means, but he doesn't mind if it gets him answers. Harumasa will just do his best. That's all he can do.]
But then who will protect me from the scary goddess?
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You know, times like this make Ragna more glad the bitch in his head only yells there and not through his mouth.]
Uh-huh...
[Yeah, he doesn't know how to respond to that and he's not allowed to take more migraine meds for another 12 hours.
But at the very least, he imagined how rough a conversation of laying all his cards out would be rough as hell. But despite that.]
They're grown enough now that keeping it from them any longer than you did would've been worse. Since they know now it's just one less thing you've got to hold back. You can just... Be. With them.
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Harumasa listens to that and largely he agrees. It's the conclusion he's reached himself. He opens his mouth to say something vulnerable, but then he stops and shuts his mouth. He closes his eyes for a moment.
I'm so tired, Ragna. That's what he wants to say.
But he doesn't. Harumasa says something else.]
They're still good, you know? They got all fired up about finding a way to cure me! I'm gonna need to keep an eye on them to make sure they don't lose sleep over it.
[He laughs a little.]
They can't help me if they're not taking care of themselves, too!
no subject
And if something can be found to cure it or stabilize it... well, Ragna didn't have a sister to help anymore did he?
But he had a friend.]
Crazier shit's been found in this city than a cure for something.
[Just a statement of fact, sounding fairly neutral even if he did want to hope something would arise. If anything he'd help in that regard. Illness wasn't what cut Ragna's lifespan in half, he didn't have a chance to get that back. But Harumasa could with the right medicine.]
You can take care of them but that's not gonna stop them from taking care of you. That's what family is supposed to do. [If he can't relax with his siblings, where can he relax?]
no subject
With all the coincidences that keep happening to me already, I'm starting to believe that more seriously.
[He sighs.]
Yeah, well, vicious cycles and all that! All three of them have stronger wills than I think even they realized. Well, other than Ana.
[He tries to lighten the mood a bit.]
And, as far as I'm concerned, you're also someone I'm going to take care of if you don't take care of yourself! I can't tell if that's a promise or a threat right now, but it's definitely one of those things.
no subject
[Ragna knew Ash was in both Krusnik and the Order, but knew less about Jun and Anna. He could put some pieces together, but he's not so much of an asshole he'd pry. He knew they had iron wills. That was enough.
Ragna paused at the idea of him being taken care of. A few things came to mind with that. "I'm the one supposed to be taking care of you idiots" and "Don't stick your head out for me, it's not worth you being put in the hospital".
"Aoko would probably kill you. Just keep away."
He didn't let any of that loose. He really felt like he was relapsing here. There's a way to stop this, but it was way too risky for Harumasa to get involved in.]
Oh please, don't you have other people to harass besides me? [At least he was used to concealing concern about himself (18-1;17).]
no subject
[Harumasa has never believed himself to be all that strong. Not even in his past life. He's okay with being the weak and sickly one, in his own words. But he doesn't see a need to catch up, really. Not yet at any rate. His siblings deserve to fly on their own for a while.]
Sure I could. Lots of friends of mine have turned out to not like sharing the burden of their pain with others out of a desire to protect them. Right now, the person I want to 'harass' is you.
no subject
[As a big brother, the younger ones are supposed to spring forward quicker. But god knows he would be bitching about the same thing as Harumasa. If he had siblings left.
"If that time comes, if it comes. It'll be you who kills me."
Tch. He'd like to stop remembering Jin. He'd like to stop that resentment his past life had towards his brother for what he did creeping into his memory of this life's Jin.]
How's that supposed to apply to me anyway? I told you I was fine.
no subject
[He's... okay with that. He's had to be okay with that. Even as a small child, Harumasa has understood that eventually his siblings will fly farther and longer than he ever could. He just knows that he can now enjoy watching them soar without regrets.
If not for the fact this is over voice, Harumasa would give Ragna a look.]
Sure, except for the fact that you've told me to stay away from you because of your roommate. I can worry about you just as much as you worry about me.
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If not over voice, Harumasa would be given a deeper scowl.]
It's not your problem to worry about.
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[He's just saying.]
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[... A year ago, Ragna absolutely would have said "who the fuck said I worried or gave a shit about you?" A year ago he would have just hung up after saying that, told Harumasa to fuck off basically. There's still a small part of him that wants to.
Because it would keep him safer.
He barely wanted Venti or Blade involved, but they were his only shot at potentially combating this before it reached a boiling point. He wondered if Aoko's paranoia was a signal of that, but didn't know for sure because she won't say anything else.
Goddammit. He knew he'd have to come clean about this to one of them. But not right now, not to Harumasa who'd get majorly fucked up by his right arm and his possessor. More so than anyone else.]
I don't know what the hell's going on with her, but she's got access to a ton of fucked up magic that drained souls in my past life. I'm telling you this shit as a warning. [She's powerful, she's scared or pissed off... or both at something, she's barely letting him sleep anymore because every little sound of a cat outside or Pokemon snoring inside makes her scream. If he didn't have a constantly haggard air it'd be clear he's been exhausted.]
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He's patient, though, and he waits for Ragna to speak. Harumasa frowns on hearing that answer. His divine roommate stirs in discomfort. This is starting to veer into Persephone territory, which could put them into a very precarious position. For now, the focus is on his friend.]
And I appreciate the warning.
[He pauses as he thinks.]
... Is that magic negatively affecting you?
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It's not like knowing will change anything. By God he will defy an early bullshit demise as long as he breathed air, it wasn't like he could affect the natural order of things. He'll stand unbroken regardless.
The same can't be said for everyone else.
And really, the only reason he's telling Harumasa this is from one short lived man to another. The same acceptance of that inevitability.]
My soul -- my lifeforce. That's the BlazBlue's fuel. Its full power only came back after coming to this town, but it was eating away before that.
no subject
[Sometimes, Harumasa hates when he's right. Both of them have shortened lives for one reason or another. He remembers thinking back then that Ragna fights like a man with nothing left to lose, and now....
It may be an inevitability, but he still wants to try the impossible.]
Have you talked to Persephone?
[She's the only one he knows who's an expert on souls.]
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That's his choice, not one dictated by fate. Not one dictated by Aoko who he wished could move on. It's his.]
I didn't even know a Persephone was here. Fucking figures... [He's just learned to expect everything at this point. Next thing you know some other Greek asshole... the fucking wine one or whatever's gonna be all buddy buddy with that blonde dragon prick.]
And if this could've been reversed don't you think I would have tried it by now?
no subject
You didn't even know the Queen of the Underworld was here, Kiba. Listen, I'm not hoping for a miracle, here. I just want to know what's possible.
[He pauses for a moment. As much as he doesn't like being vulnerable to people, especially after all he's had to confess in such a short amount of time lately, he thinks he should in this moment. If only to show that Harumasa does care about him.]
I want to at least be able to look you in the eye and say I've tried. If I don't find anything, then I don't find anything.
[Because it's not about saving Ragna to him. It's about trying every option available. And if they can't find anything, then... he'll walk with his friend to that inevitable goodbye. At least Ragna won't be alone.]
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[But Harumasa being serious did have him thinking in silence. Both of them were on similar wavelengths with regard to their lives. Or what's left of them.
"I can't do much about mine, but I can do something about the one in front of me."
Not that anyone should see that view anyway... dammit.
... The last thing he said to Harumasa before they went their separate ways came to Ragna's mind.]
... You're free to do whatever the hell you want. I'll go my own way.
[But it was different this time. Last was a dismissal. This was a commitment. If Harumasa wouldn't mind his business, Ragna would do whatever he could to keep this idiot at least stable.]
I need to be careful about how I move or who I talk to. Or else she'll really freak out.
1/2
This one liked Cheza a lot! Although, this one did fall asleep in the middle of the series.
[It is truly astounding how quickly you fall asleep to the dramatic parts. And now I'll never know how that show ended because you fell asleep during the crucial moment!]
2/2
Harumasa remembers that phrase and how he's lived it since then. Although Ragna dismissed him back then, this time it's different. They're different, for better with Ragna and perhaps for worse with Harumasa. Still, now they're walking together towards that inevitable yet still uncertain future.]
Then I'll talk to Persephone for you. At least to get the ball rolling. We won't make any moves until things are calmer for you.
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... no, let him find out on his own.
Ragna only got "better" after being conscripted into friendship by Blade and Venti. Not that he regrets that. It gave him fear again, though. Fear that he'd lose them and everyone else that latched onto him. Fear about what his power could do. What Aoko and the BlazBlue would do to them.
There's a light he's seeing, though, that he never had in the over ten years he spent wandering and destroying.
He's not expecting anything. The result will be the same either way. Fight until the very end. Until the very end.]
If you get in the middle of the family drama, don't come crying to me. [He's referring to Apollo, but also resigned to the fact that Harumasa would do this crap anyway.]
no subject
He laughs at Ragna's comment on family drama. He knows what he means, but he doesn't mind if it gets him answers. Harumasa will just do his best. That's all he can do.]
But then who will protect me from the scary goddess?